Needless to say, it’s heartbreaking to witness let alone care for a loved one with Alzheimer’s Disease. And, as time goes on, the disease progresses, making it harder and harder for the patient to connect with the outside world. Often times, the best and only practical solution for care is to send the person you love to a facility that accommodates patients with severe memory loss. Your loved one has been slipping away mentally for quite some time. Now, you’re facing the physical separation as well.
However, amidst the sadness, there is perhaps some good news. Many studies have shown that the parts of the brain responsible for remembering music are either not affected at all or aren’t nearly as affected as other parts of the brain in patients with Alzheimer’s. So, what does this mean for a visit to try to connect positively with your loved one? It means to turn on the tunes, but not just any tunes. Instead, try to find music that the patient prefers. In fact, according to neuroscientist and author Daniel J. Levitin in his book This is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession, due to certain aspects of the brain’s hard wiring, most people prefer music that was popular during their teenage years. So, do the math if necessary and look up what people were listening to when your family member or friend was, say, age 16. Many people, too, whether or not it was popular in their teens, prefer certain musical styles like jazz, classical, opera, heavy metal, reggae or musical theater. So, you may do well simply sticking with a favorite genre. Does your loved one enjoy singing? Then sing! In any case, music may very well create a lot fun and light in the midst of what could otherwise be a grave situation. Whether this all sounds too good to be true or not, here are some stories of success with favorite music for people who’ve lost much of their memory:
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Witnessing your mom or dad’s physical or mental health decline due to age is never easy. If you are their caregiver, you may no longer be able to handle the level of care they need and also maintain your own health, sanity, family and financial responsibilities. Professional home care may be a good solution for some, if they can afford it, and if their residence is adequate to accommodate aides and therapists going in and out. However, an assisted living or long-term care facility may truly be the best and safest solution for others.
Here are some tips on how to have the uncomfortable conversation in a way that your parent might best receive it: Be objective and cite outside sources for information whenever possible: For example, according to an article on health.usnews.com there are four signs that someone might need to go into long term care: 1) They can’t get organized 2) They’re letting hygiene slip 3) They’re declining physically 4) You don’t have the bandwidth. And, Dr Sidney Katz in the 1960’s developed a chart that measures how well the person can do activities of daily living or ADL’s for short. There are 6 basic ADL’s: bathing, dressing, toileting, transferring, continence, and feeding. How many of these functions a person can perform independently can determine the level of care in a facility that’s required. Let them know how this transition will benefit THEM. In a competent, professional and reputable assisted living or long-term care facility, there is access to medical professionals 24/7, activities, different therapies, camaraderie, and physically safe spaces for the level of care your parent would require. Of course, you would need to vet the facility yourself and be excited about your own research prior to trying to convince your mom or dad about all these benefits. We suggest talking to other children of the residents at any facility you’re considering as part of your search for the best facilities. Find a place close to home and rally friends and family members One of the scariest things about moving out of your familiar setting into an eldercare facility is the thought that you’ll rarely if ever see your friends and family members. However, if the facility is relatively close to home and you actually reach out for help from as many friends and family members as possible, you might be surprised at the amount of love and support that comes through as your parent is making their housing transition and beyond. So, make sure that after you reassure your parent that they’ll still get to see friends and family regularly, that you actually reach out to them for help in this regard. Deal with your own guilt and anxiety prior to having the conversation You may be convinced that a nursing home is indeed the best (and maybe ONLY) logical solution for your parent. However, if you’re like most people, you’ll have feelings of anxiety and guilt around the thought of admitting your mom or dad into a facility. You’re going to need your inner strength to have the best possible chance of the conversation going well. And, if the first conversation doesn’t go well, you’ll need resilience to insist on the right thing to do in subsequent conversations. Delegate the conversation to their minister, social worker, best friend, doctor or therapist This is a judgment call. Sometimes, certain conversations are just too difficult from child to parent and this may be one of them. In some cases, another person may be more suited to deliver the information in a way your parent can best hear it. Then, there’s a chance your mom or dad would tell you what the other person said. You might be able to follow up agreeing with what your parent was told by one or more of these other people. We wish you the best of success with this difficult and uncomfortable conversation and please know in your heart that you are trying to do what’s best for your parent, yourself, and for your own immediate family. Call us today to discuss assisted living and rehabilitation care - we are here to help. Bridgeway Care and Rehabilitation at Hillsborough 395 Amwell Rd Hillsborough, NJ. 08844 (908) 281-4400 bridgeway senior care https://www.facebook.com/bridgewaycareandrehab/
If you’re new to the world of assisted living, rehabilitation, Somerset County nursing homes, and long or short-term care facilities, navigating your way around the different types of care can be daunting. What’s the best program for your loved one and what level or type of care do they really need? To get you started with some clarity, here is a list of the different program types out there, and what these programs do:
Respite Care: Dictionary definition: “temporary institutional care of a sick, elderly, or disabled person, providing relief for their usual caregiver.” Respite care is great for necessary breaks for the caregiver at home to take good care of themselves. Caregivers at home must keep their own mental, physical, and spiritual health in top shape in order to be the best they can be for their loved-one that needs care. Caregiving is one of the hardest jobs there is, so finding a great, trustworthy program and facility that will provide respite care could be “just what the doctor ordered” for the weary caregiver. Quality respite programs offer licensed nursing services at all times, onsite rehabilitation services, and assistance with activities of daily living as needed. Long Term Care Definition from Wikipedia: “a variety of services which help meet the medical and non-medical needs of people with a chronic illness or disability who cannot care for themselves for long periods…Long term care can be provided in home, in the community, in assisted living facilities or in nursing homes.” According to an article on health.usnews.com there are four signs that someone might need to go into long term care: 1) They can’t get organized 2) They’re letting hygiene slip 3) They’re declining physically 4) You don’t have the bandwidth. Long term care as well as assisted living programs normally include specialized care like: cardiac rehabilitation, stroke rehabilitation, various therapy programs including physical, occupational, and speech, orthopedic recovery and more. Long term care programs generally have skilled nurses on site 24/7 and are often covered by Medicare and Medicaid. Skilled Nursing Care (often used synonymously with Long Term Care) Definition from verywellhealth.com: “Skilled nursing is a term that refers to a patient’s need for care or treatment that can only be done by licensed nurses.” Assisted Living Dictionary definition from Merriam-Webster: “a system of housing and limited care that is designed for senior citizens who need some assistance with daily activities but do not require care in a nursing home” Something to know is that assisted living is often not covered by Medicare or Medicaid and is usually paid for out of pocket in all or part. To determine if someone belongs in assisted living vs. long term care, there is a chart that was developed by Dr Sidney Katz in the 1960’s. It measures how well the person can do activities of daily living or ADL’s for short. There are 6 basic ADL’s: bathing, dressing, toileting, transferring, continence, and feeding. How many of these functions a person can perform independently can determine the level of care in a facility that’s required. Independent Living Definition from Independent Living Institute: “Independent living means the ability to examine alternatives and make informed decisions and direct one’s own life. This ability requires the availability of information, financial resources and peer group support systems. Independent living is a dynamic process. It can never be stagnant.” Some facilities offer separate independent living communities and/or spaces, but more often seniors who are active and able, will choose to live in 55+ developments of small homes, townhomes or apartments. These communities have activities, amenities and services available as needed or wanted. Please call us or take a tour to find out about assisted living facilities in New Jersey. Bridgeway Care and Rehabilitation 395 Amwell Rd. Hillsborough, NJ 08844 www.bshcare.com (908) 281-4400 |